Some days are really hard.

Thursday, June 28

Calliope is an awesome kid 99% of the time. I feed her when she's hungry, she sleeps when she's tired, and she's starting to smile a lot and I love it. It's usually easy.

But then once in a while, probably only three or four times since she was born, we have a rough evening. Tonight was a really rough evening.

I think it started with her being too hot, the weather has been awful lately. Then she didn't want to eat because being that close to me made it worse, then she was frustrated because she was hungry but didn't know what to do, so she cried and cried and just made herself more hot. So I took off her onesie and she was just in her diaper, and she still cried.When I walked her around she seemed to calm down, but when I sat down to try to feed her again the crying started again. Then I didn't know what to do and we were both frustrated and crying...

Luckily, Jason is awesome.

He carried her around to get her to calm down while I sat on the couch trying to calm myself down. I thought maybe pumping and giving her a bottle would maybe be easier for her but I was so stressed out nothing was coming out. So Jason went to the store to buy some formula.

I carried her up to her room to try rocking her in her chair again, since he had already calmed her down so much and when she actually calmed down a little more, she finally let me feed her.

When Jason got back from the store I just said, "That was horrible." and he said "We can do it. We're gonna have some hard nights." Then he brought me a big glass of water and kissed me on the forehead and said "you can do it" and everything felt better.

Now I'm just sitting in Calliope's room waiting to see if she'll fall asleep and hoping she's not still hungry. She's kicking her little legs around and cooing and I just have to remember that she won't be this small forever and there will be a lot more good times than hard ones. And even when it does get difficult, Jason will be there to help me.

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